Engaging in genuine discipline requires that you develop the ability to take action. You don’t need to be hasty if it isn’t required, but you don’t want to lose much time either. Here’s the time to act: when the idea is hot and the emotion is strong.

Let’s say you would like to build your library. If that is a strong desire for you, what you’ve got to do is get the first book. Then get the second book. Take action as soon as possible, before the feeling passes and before the idea dims. If you don’t, here’s what happens -

- YOU FALL PREY TO THE LAW OF DIMINISHING INTENT -

We intend to take action when the idea strikes us. We intend to do something when the emotion is high. But if we don’t translate that intention into action fairly soon, the urgency starts to diminish. A month from now the passion is cold. A year from now it can’t be found.

So take action. Set up a discipline when the emotions are high and the idea is strong, clear, and powerful. If somebody talks about good health and you’re motivated by it, you need to get a book on nutrition. Get the book before the idea passes, before the emotion gets cold. Begin the process. Fall on the floor and do some push-ups. You’ve got to take action; otherwise the wisdom is wasted. The emotion soon passes unless you apply it to a disciplined activity. Discipline enables you to capture the emotion and the wisdom and translate them into action. The key is to increase your motivation by quickly setting up the disciplines. By doing so, you’ve started a whole new life process.

Here is the greatest value of discipline: self-worth, also known as self-esteem. Many people who are teaching self- esteem these days don’t connect it to discipline. But once we sense the least lack of discipline within ourselves, it starts to erode our psyche. One of the greatest temptations is to just ease up a little bit. Instead of doing your best, you allow yourself to do just a little less than your best. Sure enough, you’ve started in the slightest way to decrease your sense of self-worth.

There is a problem with even a little bit of neglect. Neglect starts as an infection. If you don’t take care of it, it becomes a disease. And one neglect leads to another. Worst of all, when neglect starts, it diminishes our self-worth.

Once this has happened, how can you regain your self-respect? All you have to do is act now! Start with the smallest discipline that corresponds to your own philosophy. Make the commitment: “I will discipline myself to achieve my goals so that in the years ahead I can celebrate my successes.”

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn

1. They are hard working.
There is no such thing as easy money. Success takes hard work and people who are willing to do it.

2. They are honest.
Those who are successful long-term are the honest ones. Dishonest people may get the first sale, but honest people will get all the rest!

3. They persevere.
How many success stories will go untold because they never happened? And all because someone quit. Successful people outlast everybody else.

4. They are friendly.
Have you noticed that most successful people are friendly and people oriented? This endears them to others and enables them to lead others to accomplish the task.

5. They are lifelong learners.
Successful people are people who stretch themselves and grow continually, learning from all areas of life, including from their mistakes.

6. They over-deliver.
The old statement of under-promise and over-deliver became famous because it made a lot of people successful, including the richest man in the world – Bill Gates

7. They seek solutions in the face of problems.
Problems are opportunities to do the impossible, not just complain. Successful people are the ones who find solutions.

By Chris Widener

Take a moment to look around you with open eyes. Unless you are physically blind, you clearly see the reality lying immediately outside yourself. You can see the furniture around you, the walls of the room, the view out the windows, other people who are present, etc.

When you close your eyes, on the other hand, inner images and thoughts unrelated to the physical reality around you flow through your mind. Your imagination takes you beyond the limits of space and time as you revisit the past in memories, or preview future possibilities.

Many people attach little importance to such inner visions, but they actually hold a major key to creating our mental programs.

There’s now solid scientific proof we actually create our reality with our thoughts -– and not the other way around. Researchers around the world agree that our thoughts have a very real physical reality –- and actually cause things to happen in the physical world. We now know from quantum physics, for example, that subatomic particles will physically manifest IF there is someone there to observe them.

Remember being taught as a child that “seeing is believing?” In other words — that you need to physically see something with your own eyes in order to believe it is real?

Well that old belief is today being replaced with a new, science-based belief that: “Before you can see it, you have to believe it.” This viewpoint sees the act of achieving success as the result of FIRST creating a vivid, clear future vision of your desired reality. The belief is now: “what you see, is what you’ll be.”

What’s the Real Truth?
We’ve long been told that if we practice seeing something in our mind’s eye, it will actually manifest in our lives. Underlying this is the assumption that we must “believe” in the process.

I have a solid training in the scientific method, and this dependence on “belief” disturbed me for many years. I wanted to know the real truth behind the process of visualization: How and why does it work? And just why is it so powerful?

The Power of Visual Programming
Early on in my pre-medical studies I discovered an important clue: Our eyes are actually a direct extension of our brain. The Optic nerve running from the back of your eyes provides a *direct* connection to your visual brain. As a result, vision is an extremely powerful mental programming tool.

Then later I uncovered yet another key, as my early EEG biofeedback experimentation revealed the physical reality of a thought, and how it can truly influence our physical reality.

More recent research has provided actual real-time pictures of the brain as it creates new neural connections in response to a thought -– and how repeating the same thought (especially with visual involvement) physically strengthens the neural network representing that thought.

It is now apparent that our vision (both real and imagined) is intimately connected to our mental programming — to the creation of our “vision” of the world and our part in it.

There are actually two components of such mental programming: Passive, and active visual mental programming.

*Passive* Visual Mental Programming
Passive visual programming occurs every moment of your life, and has ever since birth. Your subconscious mind is actually a repository of every image you have ever seen. This is why it is so important to take an active role in what you will expose yourself (and your children) to.

For example: Consider the thousands of images you see on your TV and computer. Your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined. So realistic TV images of violence are actually stored in your brain as reality.

You can be certain this affects your behavior and social expectations. What you see really is what you get, regardless of whether you know it consciously or not.

But you can also be just lying on the sofa, and what you are visualizing internally has an equally powerful impact. If you lie there and review your fears and problems, you are actually using the power of visualization to strengthen the physical neural networks related to your problems.

By allowing yourself to passively visualize a poor outcome to a business deal, for example, you are in fact setting the stage for just such an outcome. Passive visualization works with uncanny power and accuracy.

*Active* Visual Mental Programming
On the other hand, by actively choosing to replay a vision of a positive outcome, you set the stage for a more successful result. And the more actively you use visual images during this process –- the more powerful your final results will be.

This process applies to anything from making a successful sales call or performing well in an athletic event … to the effective motivation of your teammates and children.

A Real-Life Example of Active Re-Programming Here’s a real-life example of the power of active visual programming at work: A field and track athlete I worked with a few years ago wanted to blast past a performance plateau. We’ll call him Gino.

Gino had tried everything his coach could come up with. According to his coach, the problem was that Gino “thought too much.”

When I tried to introduce Gino to visualizing an improved performance, he got stuck analyzing instead of visualizing. I had to find a way to sneak past Gino’s extremely fast mind with some new images.

I decided to try an experimental approach, and borrowed some videos of Gino performing. First I had him watch the videos in “real time” and picture himself in action. I gradually increased the playback speed until he had difficulty describing what he was seeing.

Then I replaced the videos with footage of top world class athletes performing the same events, and had Gino watch them while he “pictured” himself on the screen. This time I ran the images so fast all Gino actually “saw” was a blur he could not logically analyze. In retrospect, the method I was using was a form of subliminal programming.

At the end of two weeks I went to the track to personally observe a performance test his coach had arranged. None of us were sure about the outcome.

The results were amazing. Several subtle, but very powerful, changes had occurred in Gino’s style. He effortlessly set three personal bests that evening -– all without “thinking” about how he did it.

Increased Active Visual Mental Programming
The powerful tool of active visualization does not just apply to athletic activities. It can be applied to any aspect of your personal or business life.

Learning to use active mental programming in your life is a very personal thing. No one method works best for everyone. If you have never before been successful visualizing, you might want to start with a step-by-step procedure that will lead you into the process. You might also give the subliminal procedure a try. This method can be surprisingly effective, and takes very little conscious “effort.”

A simple approach that many have used is the creation of an actual montage of pictures that represent their desired life (or business) outcome. Others have found self hypnosis useful in learning to visualize. But if you prefer a high tech fast-track method of re-programming, still the current preference leans toward engineered brainwave training.

By Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler

By: Brian Tracy

Over the years, Ive learned that fully 85 percent of what you accomplish in your career and in your personal life will be determined by how well you get your message across and by how capable you are of inspiring people to take action on your ideas and recommendations.

You can be limited in other respects by education, contacts and intelligence, but if you can interact effectively with others, minute by minute and hour by hour, your future can be unlimited. I an going to share with you some ideas, techniques and skills that you can use to accelerate your progress toward power communication. But first, there are two major myths about communication that must be dispelled.

The first myth, which many people believe, is that because they can talk, they can communicate with others. Men especially, according to the research, think that by speaking louder and faster, theyre more effective in dealing with people. Many people think that because they have the gift of gab, because they have no problem talking to others on any subject that comes to mind, theyre good communicators.

Often, exactly the opposite is true. Many people who talk a lot are often poor communicators even terrible communicators. Many people in sales and business think that being able to string a lot of words together in a breathless fashion makes them excellent at getting a message understood by others. However, in most cases, those people are seen as boring or obnoxious, or both.

Let me say this slowly and clearly: The ability to talk is not the same as the ability to communicate. As I will discuss later, the ability to communicate is the ability both to send and to receive a message. The ability to communicate is the ability to make an impact on the thoughts, feelings and actions of someone. Many people who consider themselves excellent talkers are not very effective at all in this regard.

So lets dispel the first myth, the myth that talking is equal to communicating. Dont allow yourself to become complacent. The ability to talk to one or more persons is only the basic requirement for communication. Its the starting point. Its the jumping-off place. Effective communication is something else again.

The second myth about effective communication is that its a skill that people are born with. Either you have it or you dont have it. If youre not extroverted, gregarious and outgoing, you dont have what it takes to be a good communicator.

Again, nothing could be further from the truth. Communication is a skill that you can learn. its like riding a bicycle or typing. It takes time and practice, over and over. But if youre willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life, as you will soon see.

Communication requires both a sender and a receiver. The process of communication happens rapidly, and this same process takes place whenever two or more people exchange ideas. First, the sender thinks of an idea or image that he or she wishes to convey to the receiver. The sender then translates the idea or image into a form, or words, either written or spoken. Those words constitute the basic message that is transmitted to the receiver. The receiver catches the words, like a baseball player catches a baseball, and then translates the words into the ideas and pictures that they represent in order to understand the message that was sent.

The receiver then acknowledges receipt, and replies by translating his or her ideas and pictures into words and transmitting them to the sender. When the message has been sent and the receiver has acknowledged receiving it by transmitting a response that the sender receives, accepts and understands, the communication is complete. If this sounds complicated, it is. Probably 99 percent of all the difficulties between human beings, and within organizations, are caused by breakdowns in the communication process. Either the senders do not say what they mean clearly enough, or the receivers do not receive the message in the form in which it was intended.

An enormous number of factors can interfere in any communication, and every one of them can lead to a distortion of the message in some way. Probably every problem youll ever have will be somehow associated with a failure or breakdown in the communication process. Let me explain. According to Albert Mehrabian, a communications specialist, there are three elements in any direct, face-to-face communication: words, tone of voice and body language. Youve probably heard that words account for only 7 percent of the message, tone of voice accounts for 38 percent of the message, and body language accounts for fully 55 percent of the message. For an effective communication to take place, all three parts of the message must be congruent. If there is any incongruency, the receiver will be confused and will tend to accept the predominant form of communication rather than simply the literal meaning of the words.

Very often, you will say something that you feel is innocuous to a person and he will be offended. When you try to explain that you felt the words you used were inoffensive, the person will tell you that your tone of voice was the issue.

The third ingredient of communication, body language, is also very important. The way you sit or stand or incline your head or move your eyes, relative to the person with whom Youre communicating, will have an enormous effect on the message received.

For example, you can dramatically increase the effect of your communications by leaning toward the person Youre speaking with. If Youre sitting down, this is easy. If Youre standing up, you can accomplish the same effect by shifting your weight forward onto the balls of your feet and leaning slightly toward the person Youre talking to. When you make direct eye and face contact with the person, combined with focused attention, you double the impact of what Youre saying.

In fact, one of the easiest ways for you to break off a conversation, almost like knocking a needle off a phonograph record, is by just turning away from a person and looking into the distance when he is speaking. That will usually abruptly cause the person to stop speaking. He will feel that hes just been abandoned in the middle of the conversation.

So your choice of words is important, but even more important is your tone of voice and your body language. The better you can coordinate all three of those ingredients, the more impact your message will have, and the greater will be the likelihood that a person will both understand it and react the way you want him to.

youve heard the saying that God gave man two ears and one mouth, and in conversation, you should use them in those proportions. Truer words were never spoken. The best communicators are excellent listeners. The worst communicators are continuous talkers. In fact, often the most important part of the message is the part that is conveyed by the pauses you make between thoughts and ideas. The message is conveyed in the silence that takes place during the lulls in conversation. All master communicators have learned to be comfortable with silence. Remember that a person can absorb only a certain amount of information, as ground can absorb only a certain amount of water. If you pour too much water onto the ground, it will form into puddles instead of soak in. A persons mind is very much the same. If you dont give someone an opportunity to absorb what youre saying, by pausing and waiting quietly and patiently, he will be overwhelmed by the continuous stream of thoughts and ideas, and often will distort the message and miss the point.

One of the most vital requirements for effective communication, especially with important messages, is preparation. Preparation is the mark of the true professional. The late Coach Paul Bear Bryant of the University of Alabama football team was famous for saying, Its not the will to win but the will to prepare to win that counts. In all communications, the will to prepare in advance of talking and interacting with people is the key to achieving maximum effectiveness.

In high school and college debating, where the individuals and teams are judged on the effectiveness of their ability to get their ideas across and to win their points, theyre taught to prepare exhaustively. Especially, theyre taught to prepare the debate from the point of view of the opposition before they prepare their own arguments. Lawyers were taught to do this in law school. Before they go into court, lawyers think through every possible piece of evidence or information that favors the opposing party. They then prepare their arguments in such a way as to undermine what they think the opposing party will present as its strongest point.

Remember that in communicating, people do things for their own reasons, not for yours. Everyones favorite radio station is WIIFM, which means Whats in it for me?

The more important the communication, either in business or personal life, the more important it is to prepare for it. Think through where the other person is coming from. What is his or her point of view? What are his or her problems or concerns? What is he or she trying to accomplish? What is his or her level of knowledge or information about the subject under discussion?

The best communicators do not use a lot of words, but they choose their words carefully, in advance. People appreciate straight talking. Avoid the tendency to dress up your message and sugarcoat it. When you have a question or a concern, or you want something, come right out and say it without confusion or distortion. Youll be amazed at how much better you feel and how much more positively someone will respond to your message.

In getting your point across, perhaps the most important word of all is the word ask. The most effective people are those who are the best at asking for what they want. They ask questions to uncover real needs and concerns. They ask questions to illuminate objections and problems that people might have with what Theyre suggesting. They ask questions to expand the conversation and to increase their understanding of where people are really coming from.

You get your message understood by getting out of yourself, by putting your ego aside, and by focusing all of your attention on the other person. You get people to do the things you want them to do by presenting your arguments in terms of their interests, in terms of what they want to be and have and do. You prepare thoroughly in advance of any important conversation. You think before you speak, and you think on paper. You can say almost anything if you say it, or ask it, pleasantly, positively and with courtesy and friendliness.

The ability to communicate is a skill that you can learn by becoming genuinely interested in people and by putting their needs ahead of your own when sending a message or asking them to do something for you. When you concentrate your attention on building trust, on the one hand, and on seeking to understand, on the other hand, You’ll become known and respected as an effective communicator everywhere you go.

There are three aims and purposes of conversation. The first is the plain enjoyment and pleasure of self-expression and interaction with other people. One of the most enjoyable things we ever do is to spend time with people we like and whose company we find stimulating. This potential pleasure is the driving force behind all of our social activities. We like to get together with people with whom we have a lot in common and just share ideas, letting the conversation go where it will.

The second aim or purpose of conversation is to get to know the other person better. In sales, and in all kinds of business, you require prolonged exposure to another person in order to get a feel for how he or she thinks, feels and reacts. This can’t be accomplished in a short meeting.

The third aim of conversation is to build trust and credibility between the two people. This is perhaps the most important thing we do as we proceed through life and it is only possible with the kind of continuous conversation that reveals us to each other. In our personal relationships, there is no substitute for extended periods of conversation in the development of friendships and more intimate relationships. People who get along very well together have almost invariably spent a lot of time just talking about various subjects as they come up.

One of the very best ways to learn about another person is to spend unbroken time in their company. I’ve found that a two- or three-hour car trip is one of the most revealing experiences you will ever have with another human being. People who have gotten along well for many years, working or socializing together in brief stints, will often find that an extended car trip brings out elements of their personalities that they did not know existed.

Before you enter into any serious business or personal relationship with anyone, you should spend several hours with them experiencing the ebb and flow of sustained conversation. It’s amazing what you will learn.

Many people think that the art of good conversation is to speak in an interesting and arresting fashion, to be noted for your humor, ability to tell stories and your general knowledge of a variety of subjects. Many people feel that, if they want to be better at conversation, they must become more articulate, outgoing and expressive. They must become better talkers.

Nothing could be further from the truth. As you’ve heard many times before, we come into this world with two ears and one mouth and we should use them in that same proportion. In conversation, this simply means that you should listen twice as much as you talk if you want to get a reputation for being an enjoyable person with whom to converse.

The art of good conversation centers very much on your ability to ask questions and to listen attentively to the answers. You can lace the conversation with your insights, ideas, and opinions, but you perfect the art and skill of conversation by perfecting the art and skill of asking good, well-worded questions that direct the conversation and give other people an opportunity to express themselves.

Ask open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. Open-ended questions encourage the speaker to expand on his thoughts and comments. And one question will lead to another. You can ask open-ended questions almost endlessly, drawing out of the other person everything that he or she has to say on a particular subject.

In order to be an excellent conversationalist, you must resist the urge to dominate the discussion. The very best conversationalists seem to be low-key, easy-going, cheerful, and genuinely interested in the other person. They seem to be quite content to listen when other people are talking and they make their own contributions to the dialogue rather short and to the point.

In fact, good conversation has an easy ebb and flow, like the tide coming in and going out. Whether it is between two people or among several, the conversation should shift back and forth, with each person getting an opportunity to talk. Conversation in this sense is like a ball that is tossed from person to person, with no one holding on to it for very long.

If you feel that you have been talking for too long, you should stop and ask a question of someone in the group. You will be tossing the conversational ball and giving that individual an opportunity to converse.

Listening is the most important of all skills for successful conversation. Many people are very poor listeners. Since everyone enjoys talking, it takes a real effort to practice the fundamentals of excellent listening and to make them a habit.

Here are the four major rules for active listening in a conversation. They will work for you whether you are conversing with a sales prospect, a business associate, your manager or a friend or member of your family. They are powerful, practical and proven techniques to increase your influence with other people dramatically. The first key to effective listening is for you to listen attentively, without interruptions. When you pay close attention to another person, you convey to that person that you very much value what he or she has to say. This is very flattering to your conversation partners, and they will respond warmly to your attentiveness.

The major reason why most people are poor listeners is that they are busy preparing a reply while the other person is still speaking. In fact, they are not even listening closely to what the other person is saying. They are very much like boxers waiting for the other person to let their guard down so they can jump in with a quick verbal punch and take over the conversation.

But this is not for you. Effective listening requires that you lean slightly forward, face the other person directly, and hang on every word. Listen as though there were nothing else in the world more fascinating to you than what the other person is saying. The very best listeners seem to have developed the knack of making the person who is speaking feel as if he or she were the only person in the world. Good conversationalists can even do this in the middle of a crowded room.

In addition to listening without interrupting, you should also nod, smile and agree with what the person is saying. Be active rather than passive. Indicate that you are totally engaged in the conversation. Make eye contact as the other person talks. Relax your body and, if you are standing, allow your weight to roll forward onto the balls of your feet. Only you will know that you have done this, but the overall impression you will give is that your whole energy is now forward and focused on what the speaker is saying. The second key to effective listening is to pause before replying. A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a conversation. When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.

First, you avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is just catching his or her breath before continuing. Second, you show the other person that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity. The third benefit of pausing is that you will actually hear the other person better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.

The third key to effective listening is to question for clarification. Never assume that you understand what the person is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, What do you mean, exactly? This is the most powerful question I’ve ever learned for controlling a conversation. It is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, What do you mean? the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions and keep the conversation rolling along. The fourth key to effective listening is to paraphrase the speaker’s words in your own words. After you’ve nodded and smiled, you can then say, Let me see if I’ve got this right. What you’re saying is . . .

By paraphrasing the speaker’s words, you demonstrate in no uncertain terms that you are genuinely paying attention and making every effort to understand his or her thoughts or feelings. And the wonderful thing is, when you practice effective listening, other people will begin to find you fascinating. They will want to be around you. They will feel relaxed and happy in your presence.

The reason why listening is such a powerful tool in developing the art and skill of conversation is because listening builds trust. The more you listen to another person, the more he or she trusts you and believes in you.

Listening also builds self-esteem. When you listen attentively to another person, his or her self-esteem will naturally increase. Finally, listening builds self-discipline in the listener. Because your mind can process words at 500-600 words per minute, and we can only talk at about 150 words per minute, it takes a real effort to keep your attention focused on another person’s words. If you do not practice self-discipline in conversation, your mind will wander in a hundred different directions. The more you work at paying close attention to what the other person is saying, the more self-disciplined you will become. In other words, by learning to listen well, you actually develop your own character and your own personality.

The final key to becoming a great conversationalist is to practice the friendship factor. The friendship factor is based on the three Cs of caring, courtesy and consideration.

You’ve heard it said that, People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Caring is the catalyst in all good relationships. The people you like the best and who like you the best are the ones with whom you have the most caring relationships. Whenever you show another person that you genuinely care about him or her, you come across better as a conversationalist and as a friend. The second C in the friendship factor is courtesy. It is a magic quality of politeness that causes people to want to be around you. All good conversationalists make other people feel calm and comfortable in their presence. They never do or say anything that could hurt of offend the other person in any way. They are continually diplomatic and they keep their concerns and irritations to themselves. They always remain warm and friendly on the outside. The third C in the friendship factor is consideration. One of the major sources of positive emotions is the feeling that we are respected and considered highly by other people. Whenever you treat another person as an important and worthwhile human being, you trigger this consideration factor. You show that you not only value the conversation, but you value the speaker as well.

Becoming a good conversationalist is based on learning and practicing the Golden Rule. This simply says that you treat other people the way you would like them to treat you. Just as you would like other people to ask you questions about yourself and to listen attentively to you when you talk, others would like the same courtesy extended to them. Remember, the purpose of conversation is not to dominate, control, or be right. The purpose of conversation is to enjoy yourself and to make sure that others enjoy themselves when they are with you.

After studying the research done in cognitive psychology over the last 25 years, I’ve come to a simple conclusion: The degree to which you feel in control of your life will largely determine your level of mental well-being, your peace of mind, your happiness and the quality of your interactions with people. Cognitive psychologists call this a sense of control. It is the foundation of happiness and high achievement. And the only thing in theworld over which you have complete control is the content of your conscious mind. If you decide to exert that control and keep your mind on what you want, even when you are surrounded by difficult circumstances, your future potential will be unlimited.

Your aim should be to work on yourself and your thinking until you reach the point where you absolutely, positively believe yourself to be a total winner in anything you sincerely want to accomplish. When you reach the point where you feel unshakable confidence in yourself and your abilities, nothing will be able to stop you. And this state of self-confidence comes from, first, understanding the functioning of your remarkable mind and, second, practicing the techniques of mental fitness over and over, until you become a completely optimistic, cheerful and positive person.

Italian psychologist Dr. Roberto Assagioli left us two remarkable pieces of writing, Psychosynthesis and The Act of Will. In those books, Assagioli brought his remarkable intelligence to bear on the entire subject of human potential and human happiness. He studied the mind and personality for his entire lifetime, and he came up with several ideas that are profoundly simple and powerfully effective in helping you and me to lead happier, more satisfying lives. In The Act of Will, he laid out a series of psychological principles, or laws, that can be very helpful to you in understanding the way your mind works and how you can take control of it.

The third of Assagioli’s laws is that images or pictures, either from within or from the outside, will trigger thoughts and feelings consistent with them. In turn, those thoughts and feelings will trigger behaviors that lead to the realization of the pictures. For example, when you become absolutely convinced that you are a total winner and you are meant to be a complete success in anything that you really want to do, every picture or image that you see that somehow represents winning to you will trigger thoughts of what you could do to achieve that same state. The picture will also trigger the feeling of excitement that will motivate you to take action.

A friend of mine who was a sales manager had a simple technique to make new salespeople successful, and it worked in more than 90 percent of cases. When he hired a salesperson, he would take that person to a nearby Cadillac dealership and force the person to trade in his current car on a new Cadillac. The payments on the Cadillac would be substantially more than the new salesperson had ever imagined paying, and he would strongly resist getting into the commitment. However, the sales manager would insist until, finally, the salesperson bought the new Cadillac and drove it home.

No matter how unsure or insecure the salesperson felt, when his spouse and friends saw the new Cadillac and he experienced the pleasure of driving it down the street, he began to think about himself and to see himself as a big success selling his product. And in almost all cases, it turned out to be true. Those salespeople went on to become great successes in their field.

Take every opportunity you can to surround yourself with images of what success means to you: Get brochures on new cars; get magazines containing pictures of beautiful homes, beautiful clothes and other things that you could obtain as a result of achieving the success that you are aiming for. Each time you see or visualize those images, you trigger the thoughts, feelings and actions that make them materialize in your life.

Assagioli’s fourth law is that thoughts, feelings and images trigger the words and actions consistent with them. This is another way of saying that your inner impressions will motivate you to pursue the outer activities that will move you toward the achievement of your goals.

Assagioli’s fifth law is that your actions will trigger thoughts, emotions and images consistent with them. That has been referred to as the Law of Reversibility. It is one of the most important success principles ever discovered.

Simply, that law says that you are more likely to act yourself into feeling than you are to feel yourself into acting. On many days, you wake up feeling not as positive and optimistic as you would like. However, if you act as if you already have the feeling that you desire, the action itself will trigger the feelings and the thoughts and mental pictures consistent with them.

In her book Wake Up and Live, Dorothea Brande said that the most important success secret she ever discovered was this: Act as if it were impossible to fail, and it shall be.

In the book, she goes on to explain that you need to be very clear about the success that you desire, and then simply act as if you already had it. Act as if your success were inevitable. Act as if your achievement were guaranteed. Act as if there were no possibility of failure.

The wonderful thing is this: You can control your actions easier than you can control your feelings. If you choose to exert control over your actions, those actions will have a back flow effect and trigger the feelings, thoughts and images that are consistent with those of the person you want to be, of the person who lives the life you want to live.

There is a principle called the Law of Expression, which says that whatever is expressed is impressed. This means that whatever you say, whatever you express to another in your conversation, is impressed into your subconscious mind.

The reverse of this law is that whatever is impressed will, in turn, be expressed. It will come out. Your conversation reveals an enormous amount about you, the kind of person you are and the things that you believe about yourself and others.

In identifying those laws, one of the most important facts I discovered is that your brain is a multisensory, multistimulated, extremely complex, interactive organ. Everything that you think, imagine, say, do or feel triggers everything else, like a chain reaction, or like a series of electrical impulses going out in all directions and turning on lights everywhere.

Let’s say that you are driving down the street, listening to the radio and thinking about a variety of things. Suddenly, you hear a song that you associate with an old romance that you had many years before. Instantaneously, your brain reacts and re-creates all the sensations that were present when you were with that person a long time ago. You instantly get a mental picture of the person. You see and remember where you were and what you were doing when the song was playing back then. You feel the emotion that you experienced at that time. You recall what was going on around you-the sounds, the season, the lights, the people and the activities. You temporarily forget whatever you were thinking about and are transported, in a split second, back across the years. Sometimes, the emotion that you recall is so intense that it brings you close to tears or fills you with happiness.

That is the way your mind works. By understanding that, you can make your mind work for you as a powerful engine of growth and development. You can consciously surround yourself with a series of sensory inputs that bombard you with messages and cause you to think and feel like a total winner.

Thinking like a winner is the first step to living like a winner. You do become what you think about most of the time. You are not what you think you are; but what you think, you are. In fact, you are what you most intensely believe. And if you think like a winner and do the things that winners do to keep their minds positive and optimistic, you will be a winner.

By: Brian Tracy

Each of us has two distinct choices to make about what we will do with our lives. The first choice we can make is to be less than we have the capacity to be. To earn less. To have less. To read less and think less. To try less and discipline ourselves less. These are the choices that lead to an empty life. These are the choices that, once made, lead to a life of constant apprehension instead of a life of wondrous anticipation.

And the second choice? To do it all! To become all that we can possibly be. To read every book that we possibly can. To earn as much as we possibly can. To give and share as much as we possibly can. To strive and produce and accomplish as much as we possibly can. All of us have the choice.

To do or not to do. To be or not to be. To be all or to be less or to be nothing at all.

Like the tree, it would be a worthy challenge for us all to stretch upward and outward to the full measure of our capabilities. Why not do all that we can, every moment that we can, the best that we can, for as long as we can?

Our ultimate life objective should be to create as much as our talent and ability and desire will permit. To settle for doing less than we could do is to fail in this worthiest of undertakings.

Results are the best measurement of human progress. Not conversation. Not explanation. Not justification. Results! And if our results are less than our potential suggests that they should be, then we must strive to become more today than we were the day before. The greatest rewards are always reserved for those who bring great value to themselves and the world around them as a result of who and what they have become.
Jim Rohn

Self Acceptance

ACCEPTANCE

Sometimes, when we are down, we worry too much, and we don’t know what to do. We don’t know how to cope with problems. Sometimes we have no chance to change anything. We feel that everything in our life is out of our control, out of our own power. We don’t know how to cope with uncertainty and overwhelming challenges. We are stuck, not knowing where to go and what to do. How do we deal with such a situation? How do we cope?

There is way out of the blues! Our mental response is very powerful tool. If we can not change something, we can change the way we think about it. Understanding what can be done and what can’t be done is the only right way to deal with adversity. We have a choice. There is always a choice. A choice to accept reality and uncertainty, or a choice to sit down and worry forever.

We are not able to control everything .The only thing that we can control is our reaction! Our response to what happens to us makes the difference. Don’t deny reality. Instead, turn denial into acceptance. Let reality be reality. Accept, hope and cope!

Acceptance is similar to managing stress. Both affect our body and mind. Accepting reality is the right solution and the right choice. Do you know why? Because emotions don’t have anything to do with our will. What can you do with emotions? You can accept them, experience them and express them. By doing that, we will expend a lot of energy. But acceptance releases energy.

I will explain: Whenever we worry, we use a lot of energy. Actually we lose energy. But when we accept reality, we gain our energy back. We really need energy to deal with situations; we need energy to survive. When we accept challenges, we save energy and protect ourselves from being sick by worrying.

Acceptance gives us a “feeling” of dealing with the situation. We get control over our life. Acceptance means: I don’t need to fight. I will accept those things I can’t change and get to work on those I can. I will accept whatever comes to me on my way through life. I am strong and prepared to understand that life is beautiful, in spite of all challenges. I am in charge of my own life. I am mature!

Acceptance is a source of power and serenity. Acceptance is not apathy! By accepting reality, we are taking responsibility for our life. When accepting reality we are gaining – not loosing. Acceptance is a skill that can save our life. Do not forget to accept and love yourself first. Everything starts with you first! As a coping technique, acceptance is not always welcome in Western society! Our society teaches us: Go and fight for it! Do not give up! You can do it! It’s worth fighting for.

I have no problem with all those statements .I only have a problem with one thing: When should we use this fighting strategy? Who is going to tell us when to fight and when not to fight and accept? Use The Serenity Prayer as guidance: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”. Our inner wisdom will tell us what to choose and what to do.

Jahiel -Yasha – Kamhi

Ask and You Shall Receive

The only way to learn what you can get is by asking for what you want

“Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you.” These words of Christ express a natural law; mainly, the world responds to those who ask. Percy Ross (1917 ~ 2001) describes this profound fact in more playful terms, “The world is full of genies waiting to grant your wishes.” If we only knew what we’re not receiving because we’re not asking, we’d surely change our behaviour.

Those of us who are married or in relationships are so because we ASKED the person of our dreams to share their life with us. So, inherently, we all know that we can realize our dreams merely by asking. And yet, after finding their mate and job, many people stop asking. As a result, they stop receiving. Their dreams are vaporized. Their progress halted. Their happiness stunted.

Why do we stop asking? Mainly because we’re afraid the person we’re asking will say no. Marcia Martin explains why such a notion is foolish: “What I point out to people is that it’s silly to be afraid that you’re not going to get what you want if you ask. Because you are already not getting what you want. They always laugh about that because they realize it’s so true. Without asking you already have failed, you already have nothing. What are you afraid of? You’re afraid of getting what you already have! It’s ridiculous! Who cares if you don’t get it when you ask for it, because, before you ask for it, you don’t have it anyway. So there’s really nothing to be afraid of.”

Another reason for people not asking for what they want is they are afraid that they are unworthy of it. The solution is to make yourself worthy. I may want to get a raise at work, but I am not automatically entitled to one merely because I put in time and carry out my responsibilities; after all, that’s what I am paid for. However, if I do more than I am supposed to and make myself a valuable member of the company, I am worthy of a raise and can now ask for one. If I’m turned down, I can ask for advice on what else I can do to EARN a raise in the future. So, I have nothing to lose by asking. At the very least, I will gain some knowledge on how to better my chances in the future, as well as impress my superior with my ambition.

We have to learn from our children and pet dogs and cats. Don’t they live by the principle that it never hurts to ask? We need to do the same. It is essential to realize that we cannot reach our goals without the help of others. Therefore, we must ask them for their help. True, we may not get what we ask for, but we will NEVER get what we don’t ask for!

To start getting more out of life, we need to ask ourselves a series of questions. Questions like, “What do I want that I am not asking for now? What is needed to get what I want? Who can help me get what I need? What are the obstacles I need to overcome? What path of action should I take to overcome these obstacles? What are the worst and best that could happen by asking? What is most likely to happen? What am I waiting for?

Also, prepare the way by following another universal law, which is, “You only receive what you give away.” In other words, before you can expect others to respond favorably to your requests, you have to willingly cooperate with those asking for your help. Be generous and kind. This sets in motion relationships and networks that are predisposed to help you because you are worthy of it.

Need more help around the house from your spouse? Need more training to improve your job performance? Need your neighbor to stop blocking your driveway with his pickup truck? Need your doctor to explain in greater detail what your options are? Need help in doing your school report? Need to have your friend stop blabbing about the things you tell her in private? Accomplish your aims; achieve your wishes, and get what you want out of life by ASKING for it.

To maximize your chances of success, here are some pointers to keep in mind.

1. Explain your need and desire for help. Make a request, not a demand.

2. Accept refusals graciously. Thank them for their consideration. Don’t sulk. As the Russians say, “Ask a lot, but take what is offered.” Show gratitude when they help; show understanding when they don’t.

3. Don’t try to get what you want by manipulation. Don’t try to make the other party feel guilty for refusing.

4. Don’t ask others to do what you can do without their help. Show some initiative.

5. Don’t ask for advice or suggestions if all you want is to have someone agree with your preconceptions.

6. Don’t make unreasonable requests. Don’t ask someone to do what you are not willing to do for them.

7. Don’t ask God, unless you believe He is Santa Claus. God helps those who help themselves. Save your prayers for prayers of thanksgiving.

8. Don’t be vague. For example, don’t tell your coworker she isn’t cooperative enough, but be precise in explaining what you need. For example, “Mary, I need you to come to the meetings on time. And the Month’s End Report must be completed by the 27th of each month. Whenever a problem occurs, tell me about it immediately so we can resolve the difficulty and meet our deadlines.”

9. Many married couples or close friends expect their mate or friend to be a mind reader. Don’t fall into this trap. Others are NOT aware of what is going on inside your head or the emotions you are experiencing. Thoughts such as, “If he really loved me, he would know how I feel” are sheer fantasy. You are capable of an infinite range of desires, thoughts, and feelings. Even the Amazing Kreskin won’t be able to decipher them unless you reveal them. So, don’t hide your thoughts, but share them by asking for what you want.

10. Remain committed to your goals and don’t get discouraged when your requests for help are turned down. You will never lose if you never quit. Just keep trying. The stakes are high and your efforts will be rewarded, sometimes in ways that are not immediately obvious.

Asking for what you want doesn’t mean you will get everything you ask for. But it does mean you will get MORE out of life. Imagine the tragedy of the many things that are lost simply because we are not asking for them. So, let ’s reach out and grab the fruit of life, the many rewards that are ours just for the asking!

Chuck Gallozzi